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Wassup?

I hope you remember that I have a brain that’s actually my biggest villain. It makes words just disappear from my head when I most need them but keeps singing the song (only the first line)  that I hate the most, all through the day after picking up the first line from somewhere. So yeah, one such song is going on in my head and I’m trying to distract it with the tik tik tik sound of my keyboard.
Has anyone wondered that Mark Zuckerburg could have been that nosy aunt who loves gossiping about anyone and anything in previous birth or parallel universe or anywhere else that you believe exists? I have always had that thought 😛 (Yes, thanks to my brain!). So he landed on Earth and gave gossiping a tinge of coolness rather than doing it, the age old way of sitting in a circle and talking about people. All you have to do is, click a button and there you go, everything about a person’s life. Who is with whom, who is eating what … And then he acquired Whatsapp too again proving my point that he was that nosy aunt before 😛 I had to get my parents introduced to that virtual-nosy-aunt, it was fun. I gave them KT and before I could get a reverse KT, I was here. So direct hands-on it was. Whenever I used a new smiley, my mom would call me and ask what does that smiley mean 😛 She’ll make sure to use it the next time whenever there is a chance. I have got an earful many a time. Here goes a sample, please don’t tell anyone…You’ll know why when you read it *monkeyclosedeyes*
Me: * monkeyclosedeyes*
Mom:  Why are you sending a monkey to me?
Me : It means facepalm *puts girl with hand on head smiley*
Mom: I don’t know what’s facepalm .Do not hit your head with your hand . How many times to tell you that it is a bad habit.
Me: Ok *loses patience*
Mom: *continues* Always use happy smileys, then only you’ll also be smiling. Avoid that head -hitting-smiley
Me: *1 row full of facepalm smiley* and logs out
Mom: Had dinner?
Me: Yup!
Mom: What does yup mean?
Me: Yup means yes *eye roll*
Mom: You and your language. Why do you have to change yes to yup. Both are 3 letters.
Me: *mouth zipped*
Me: Ma… I have poured oil, then added mustard, chilli and methi. what to do next? Type fast
Mom- typing
Mom-typing
Mom-typing
After 2 whole minutes
Mom: Hi. What are you doing?
Me *keeps my phone aside*
Every single time when this guy drops his HIV+ blood in frooty/slice/maaza bottles and NDTV informs it, I will be getting this message cautioning me to not drink (irrespective of whether it is available here or not :P) …Now tell me what can I do without sending monkeyclosed eyes or facepalm?
Do you know who keeps Mark Zuckerberg’s account increasing? None other than your mamas, mamis, chaachas, chaachis, didi1, didi2,didi3, didi(n), cousin’s cousin’s cousin…In short family groups. I realise that something is wrong with my network or Whatsapp when family group(s) don’t have message ticking. Else there will be 51 forwards in 2 hrs and 50 minutes with 46 being a repeat of whatever someone else posted in the previous 2 hrs 50 minutes and 5 will be ones that are there in the family group (2) as part of one of the 51s. In short, it is the same message that will go round and round till it reaches the group from where it started. It will start with ‘Good morning’ with God/Flowers/Quotes and go on till ‘Good night’ with baby sleeping/cute animals/again God…In between you’ll have 5 things to remember, 10 things to lead a happy life, 15 things to know about vegetables, 20 things to know about anything-under-the-sun, HIV+ blood in maaza/slice/frooti, ISIS people starting WhatsApp group and sending invitation to everyone like it is a wedding (really?) , high radiation alert between 2 am and 6 am every other day, moon will seem bigger tonight, dads are priceless, salute women, proud to be daughter,  send it to people who are special,beautiful, all adjectives…Not to forget the at least 15 MB videos at regular intervals. Phew! At times, I get confused which group is what as I’ll see same forward in all the groups at the same time. Lol 😛 
If at 1.30 am you are not sleepy, open FB/WhatsApp and find out ’20 ways to fall asleep’.. See it’s useful. No…You are not allowed to just shut down your phone and eyes…That’s prohibited! 😛 The other day I asked my friend, ‘Hey is it raining outside?’ She got up and rushed to her room. I was wondering why is she going in when the balcony is just here.  She replied, ‘Yes!Light rain.’ looking down at her phone 😛 How stupid of me 😛
Successfully Dee won the chance to be my trainer for driving 😛 Bloopers are piling up 😛 Looks like I’ll have to do part 1,2, 3 to cover all 😉
My friend: Cinco de mayo
It was lunch hour, so I thought she was talking something about mayo (mayonnaise) and was about to ask why is she asking me to take mayo for curd rice when I have Priya’s mango pickle  *monkeyclosdeyes*
Thankfully, another added ‘Yes! It is May 5th’ I did a Joey nod like I got it and stuffed a spoonful of curd rice to stop my brain from giving me more weird ideas.

11 thoughts on “Wassup?”

  1. Nice to see you getting your groove back..was hilarious!..not a big fan of the “do not hit your head with your hand” smiley..:P

    Like

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