Desiness Vs Videsiness

I had been thinking of writing this for a long time now. Finally, I just took out my laptop and decided to write it down, come what may. So here I am, ignoring my dinner preparation to write it down….see how big a sacrifice (*clears throat*). From the moment I had landed here, my desi brain was playing spot-differences-game and was always comparing the desiness to the videsiness 😛 So when my brain has done so much prep work, why not make use of it before it evaporates forever 😛 Here we go, life in Charlotte vs life in Chennai.
->Hunting a house for rent

As soon as you think about shifting your house…let alone shifting, for buying, selling, searching a maid, looking for bride/groom…first thing is inform that particular aunty/uncle in your area who will act as a broadcaster and spread the word to far and wide….So far way that you may get a call enquiring the same even from neighbouring continent or even planet 😛  Next job is telling all neighbour kadai annas to collect and keep Adyar times, thiruvanmayur times, anna nagar times…precisely all-areas-in Chennai times. Then circle the suitable ones and contact. Not sure about the house but you’ll end up finding at least one somebody’s some cousin in the process and end up talking for 30 minutes 😛 So you’ll have to undergo strict interview process of answering questions before you are even allowed to see the house…It is said that even visa interview and immigration scrutiny was inspired by this process. You are finallyallowed into a house (To visit and check). After agreeing to all the terms and conditions and negotiating to 10 months advance, you get ready to move. Oh yeah! Moving is inclusive of changing newspaper-guy, cable-guy, milk-guy,etc etc !
It’s community and not apartment! Google becomes the aunty/uncle here. Search for the neighbouring communities to your workplace, give details on their website and check availability for the move-in date mentioned. Every community has a leasing office (proxy house-owner) which will be more like air-hostess kind of ladies who smile and say happy-to-help when you check the model houses (here we have model houses to just have a tour) and then with the same smile say sorry- we-are-not-responsible-for-that after we move in and become a resident. You’ll have a credit history check (You are always being watched!) and your security deposit is waived or reduced depending on how good have you been (Hence, Proved! Santas exist :P).They ask you ‘Do you prefer the 1st floor or 2nd floor’. You say 1st floor and expect to be taken one flight of stairs up…Be ready to be disappointed. 1st floor = Our ground floor …  For the benefit of all, I have burnt the midnight oil to come up with the formula to avoid confusion, pls note down and by heart- Our floor number N= Amreekan floor (A)-1. You’ll have the patio and not the balcony in every house 😛 No tension to newspaper-guy, cable-guy, milk-guy cos you are everything here…Just inform yourself to move on the correct date 😛 Before your lease ends, you’ll have a strict inspection and check to see the amount of damage done! (You are always watched :P)
-> Cleaning the house

‘Aishu…sit on the bed or sofa with your feet up. Give way for the maid to sweep/mob.’
When maid and mom are together, the very own daughter becomes a stranger. They have such an emotional bond. This is an everyday activity. Even if one day maid is on leave, entire house will be turned upside down. In the case of no maid, sweeping and mobbing will be an everyday activity.
‘Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr’ *bgm* ‘Aishu …what are you doing?’
‘Nothing ma… Sunday! Vaccuming the house…once in a week activity (which later becomes alternate weeks) 😛
Carpet flooring ma…how will it get dirty’ 😛  *hiding the dust jar of vacuum*
-> Making Plans to go out

‘Shall I take bus…Get down at that stop then share-auto?’
‘Even train would work’
‘May be I should take auto?*seeing the known anna’s auto outside your gate*
‘Should I book uber…let me check the price.’
Finally decides to take ola-share or uber-pool
Take your car *no thinking*
No car- Book uber/ carpool with a friend.
Uber arrives -driver name harry- you expect a guy (uber drivers are always guys from Chn experience) but there she is, smiling and ready to take you on a tour!
-> Grocery Shopping

‘Aishu..Go and get 1 packet of jeera and mustard from Ramesh stores… Come soon! I have kept oil to heat.’ I will have to rush to the grocery store across the street and come with jeera, mustard and eclairs chocolate as he doesn’t have change. My mom will give a huge list at the starting of the month and the guy will deliver in a big carton. I will be excited to open it always like it is some gift box 😛
Dedicate a day for ‘Grocery Shopping’. Make a list …Take your car/Book cab, spend half a day, get whatever you need (planned for a month but lasts for 3 weeks), get the trolly to your car (No annas to help you with the loading…only self service 😛 )dump it in the trunk of your car till it can hold no more, come home exhausted and make noodles in 5 minutes for dinner 😛
-> Cooking

‘Amma…I’m hungry! What’s for lunch’
‘Eeeeeew…I hate beans!’
Within 10 minutes
*potato fry ready*
‘What shall we make?’
*opens the fridge and stares at all the instant food available*
What about salad? We should eat something healthy..Okay?!’ *starts eating raw vegetables and fruits*
Me: ‘Amma…send recipe for avial’
*Follows the recipe verbatim and makes repeated video calls*
Tadaa…Morkozhambu ready! (Well yeah…started as avial but then it became morkozhambu at the end) 😛
You have to escape every single dog after you step out. But still, you’ll hear a ‘Woof or a lol’ to make your heartbeat skip.
Dogs never let me in peace even if the owners are close-by…Do they? (Story in some other post)
Having proved the point that car is mandatory here, I’m in the process of finalizing my trainer…just 4 classes you see 😛 One is Mr Mark who is on the first street from my house (Margabandhu mudhal theru…this impressed me to add him to the finalists list ) and another is Ms Dee (Remember Dee for Death from Shiva’s Tamizh padam?’)..I’m curious to see her…So there are lots more to add to compare and contrast and lot more blooper episodes (obviously…car driving) to follow. Have a great week ahead folks! 
PS: No… Not necessarily all people abroad watched Baahubali, 1st-day 1st show to find why kattappa killed Baahubali 😛

13 thoughts on “Desiness Vs Videsiness”

  1. At the outset, felt as though you were under pressure to write..however good that you are back doing what you do best.(PS>>srsly who doesn't like beans curry?!..:P)


  2. Humour is strongly embedded in yr personality, Aishu. You pick wholesome humour in everything and make people laugh and happy with yr amazing writing skills. Continue to make us happy with your writing.


  3. i would wanted to watch you take the driving classes… would be fun to just see what u r telling to the trainer and how they ll stare wihtout understanding even a single word as we do… 😛


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