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I see you!

“Subject is here!Over”
“Subject has crossed me. Officer 3, she is heading in your direction. Over”
“Now I see her!Over”
So what do you imagine? 2 or 3 undercover officers standing in public at different streets and tracking down a criminal. Right? I hear your mindvoice: JujubiEtthana undercover operations paathurkom (Subtitles: @#$$%! How many undercover operations have I watched! *eeew…lost in translation#1*) Now, a small twist in the story. The guys whom you’ve imagined with Rayban glasses and gym body should be replaced into 4-legged-bodies with a fancy collar around the neck. You know who is the subject now. Of course, it’s yours truly! I strongly believe this is the scenario in Dog’s cop world right now. I’m a wanted criminal who is being hunted for from all over the world by the dog-cops. They always pass signals to the ones in other roads, so that the other one is ready with a snarl and stare to warn me, “You are being watched!”
As soon as I travelled out of India, I felt like the Vijay Mallaya of Dog-world and felt I’m done once and for all with them…I even did a devil-villain laugh followed by a victory dance in flight (mostly caused due to turbulence and I was trying to get to the washroom…the same scenario of balancing in 102 bus and passing the ticket). But no, I was wrong ! News travelled faster than my Etihad flight and I had their international counterparts geared up to receive me here.
As soon as I reached here, I was shown an apartment close to the pool when I was hunting for an apartment. I happily agreed and went back home to get back with my documents the next day. Little did I know that there was a trap waiting for me next day. The apartment that I had checked te previous day had already been leased out before it was shown to me. I was taken to another apartment which was the replica of hat I say, the only clause being it is next to a dog park.  Yes! Dogs have a park …the place where they get trained to gang up against me. Every time I walk down, I’ll see few of them running, jumping and training themselves exactly like the human cops training area *monkeyclosedeyes* 
As soon as I step out of my house, I’ll hear barks from somewhere or the other. Once the bark was too loud iving me a feel that there is a huge one on its way to attack.When my mind ponders in Vadivelu’s tone, ‘Enna audio mattum varudhu, video va kaanum.’, I see a tiny one who can easily be mistaken as a cutie-pie be the cause of producing barks with such high decibels. Even though I was eager to see if they have dubbing artists like we do , I stepped away giving it the undeserved right of way.
My roommate and I had gone for a late evening stroll and were chatting away as we ascended the flight of stairs that lead to my apartment. I saw the villain….errr may be villain’s heroine (she could be the revolver Rita of her gang) waiting outside my apartment. I was taken aback by the surprise attack and rushed 2 steps down , only to increase the wrath of Ms/Mrs Revolver Rita. She came rushing towards me. She kept starring with low growls… I kept starring with lup-dup sound (my heart beat had quadrupled and that was the only sound that could be heard). Her so-called owner kept shouting ‘Snowy, come here…Snowy , I want you here now’. My mind still frozen in vadivelu mode, ‘Dei adha paatha chinese dog madhiri irukku…subtitles aachu podu da…nagara maatengudhu .. en life oda vilayadrade velaiya pochu  *vadivelu cry* (Subtitles: I strongly felt the dog was chinese and didn’t understand a word of what was being said. I hoped against hope that subtitles will be provided for it to understand and move.’ Finally, Revolver Rita’s boss, boss is not the owner…owner is the american mapillai in this story, his role is over. Her boss is a big alsation German Shepherd dog who thankfully understood english and provided the necessary translation with a big bark and 2 whoofs . In our terms it can be translated as , ‘Vidu…enga poida pora…Nalaikku thaniya varumbodhu potrulam..Inikku prechana venam.’ (Let’s kill her tomorrow) . Thus, my life was saved in the distance of 2 steps.
I became extra cautious when in my apartment and didn’t linger out much and always had a backup plan in case of surprise attacks. Sensing my extra caution, I didn’t get any further attacks at apartment. At the apartment being the keyword here. I didn’t know how my plan to travel had leaked out. I entered airport well in time …in fact very much ahead to board the flight. I was happy as I assumed I can cross to security check and happily binge on some snack before boarding the flight. They had other plans. As the queue moved towards the security check, I looked at him. The eyes staring right onto me leaving all the people in front of me. He was there, waiting for me. Laughing that the time has come to end this chase. Everyone had to walk past this sniffer dog with our carry on bags. I thought it was just a ploy to kill me, I would die of cardiac arrest before I pass to the other side. This would be natural death and not a murder then. I swayed from this side to that side like Guna Kamal with Partha vizhi parta badi poothu irukka in BGM (little sad version) and the sniffer dog was sniffing every carry on bag (same ease with which the heroine distributes laddus)  in front of me getting me closer and closer. My turn arrived. Now, I see you! We stood frozen! Yes, like Guna Kamal…just that this was out of brain/Everything-freeze and not by the admiration. I refused to budge! I heard the American Mapillai-2 (owner/whoever was holding) trying to pull me into the trap by assuring, ‘Nothing is going to happen…Just walk past!” Nope! Not that I was defiant enough but just that I was frozen at that spot. I could see the villainous smile curving his mouth… Epdi pora paakalam being his mindvoice. When I thought, I’m going to soon find out about the myth behind hell and heaven, I heard footsteps towards me. Gaaptain Prabhakaran to the rescue…The American Gaaptain Prabhakran took my carry on bag and walked past his mouth to its disappointment and shock. I was then taken away by our Gaaptain Prabhakaran through another gate…At that moment all I wanted to do was to push a paperweight down (yeah…when you push paperweight down, it means you are going to touch the feet of the person in an inconspicuous way-Origin: Suryavamsam). With Laaale lale laale (Rosa poo BGM), sweat in my eyes and gratitude in my heart, I left the place. *wiping the sweat*

7 thoughts on “I see you!”

  1. Great post..vadivelu reference was rib tickling….I think the best way to overcome your phobia..is to confront it..gradually though..:):P

    Like

  2. Very well relatable Aishu..I know the pain of it..only someone who has similar fear knows how it feels..😂😉

    Dogs are same everywhere on earth.. don't they?

    Like

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