A girl has no name

If Arya Stark was from Chennai and was instead called Arivazhagi Santhanagopalan, she could have achieved the ‘a girl has no name’ status effortlessly in the US of A. People who got the reference, ‘Thank you! Please visit again for the next post.’ People who didn’t, you are my audience for this post as we are going to deal with this in detail ๐Ÿ˜›

Flashback *mosquito coil*

A cute girl baby *cough cough* was born and people around were contemplating about what do we call her. ‘Inky pink ponky’, ‘O God please tell me who is the catcher’ , ‘Ini mini mina moe’ and everything was used. All permutations and combinations like ‘ kabimkubam’, ‘kambikumba’, ‘kumbibaagam’ was tried and finally announcement came from the parents, ‘Let’s give her a name that is very common here such that she ends up with atleast one another person sharing the name in the class…But…*dramatically rubbing palms* make it unique by giving her a different spelling. This will make her stand out in the crowd’ *evil laugh* From then on, this girl used to walk to the teacher on the first day of every new academic year citing a misspelling in the attendance register. She would always be heard stressing, ‘My name is ‘A-I-S-W-A-R-Y-A’. You see, there is no H in between. In India, she had become, ‘A girl with so many names’-Ishwarya’, ‘Ishvarya’,’Isvarya’, ‘Aishwarya’. She always had 3 people standing up with her when her name was called and ended up having number with name during most of her school life. She was ‘Roll number 4 Ais(h)warya’…please come here.’ And then the story went on till she graduated and joined an IT company like most of the Ais(h)waryas but here you don’t call people by name. It is your associate ID that becomes your pseudo name and hence she became ‘ A girl who has a number as a name’ ย If you are going go ‘chu chu chu’ *feeling pity not a dog’s signal* now, get ready with a box of tissues (hey we say tissues and not kerchief …Amreeekan language conversion yaar :P) as it is going to be one soga kadhai (sad story). Brace yourself and read further *enough of drama*

So this girl travels to the US of A, feeling relieved that there is no more sharing name with the person sitting beside you and she is going to be relieved of checking the spelling. Here comes the twist in the story. First day, call with the fellow Amreekans,

Amrk: ‘Hey! Welcome to the team’
She * feeling happy as the name read correctly on the screen…mutiple violins symphony bgm*- “Thanks!”
Amrk: ‘What’s your name? Sorry I didn’t get it “
She: ย *stares at him like climax nayagan kamal choking with disbelief with a single violin doordashan BGM*-
After she tries her best to take free pronunciation class for the next 5 minutes,
Amrk: “Ahhh…I get it! Aish vaaya’
*mindvoice* Ennadu idhu…Vaaya poya nu mariyadha illama pesara (Translation : *typed…erased*)
She: ‘Yesssss! Perfect!’ *takes a deep breath*

From then on, unsaid agenda for every following call will be ‘pronunciation’ class for the first 5 minutes and end up with even more permutations combinations.

Amrk1: ‘Hey! I’m Mike’ *extending hand for handshake*
She *mind voice* : Ennn da ennnn… ivlo neram nalla dhana poitu irundhdhu (Things were fine till now)
*Clears throat* : ‘HI Mike! I’m Aiswarya!’
Amrk1: “Sorry what?” makes all possible mouth gestures ( in an attempt to recreate the word which would have got few chappals and thodapakattaiย  or a remark ‘Paaku- ellam inga thuppa koodadhu sir’ย  if in Chennai but finally gives up.
She: “Yeah ! It’s difficult! But a common name in India”. Diplomatically asking him to stop trying.
Amrk1 *asks for a repeat performance and sees the lip movement*- ‘Ahhhh …It’s Aish-Swaha’
She: Yes! Absolutely right! *name-swaha*
Amrk1: He ll give a vida muyarchi vishwarooba vetri smile (smile relishing the success of 100 trials) and will walk away marking the task for the day of Swaha-ing a name as accomplished.

So everytime there is a group of Amreekans, she ll have to literally send telepathy waves asking them to just not ask her name. But never once had it worked! After an elaborate conversation when the person had actually forgotten to ask her name
She *mind voice* Soona paana apdiye continue pannu…neee en pera kekadha naan un pera keka maaten…epdi namma dealing! (Do not ask my name! Period!)
Amrk2 *catching the mistranslated telepathy waves…This is the problem with translation…Never has translation worked*- ‘I’m sorry! What’s your name? Pardon my bad memory!’
She *Ussss habbbaaa…Ippove kanna kattudhe* Explains the pronunciation and realizes lunch is over and tea time is here
Amrk2: Impatiently …”Gotcha! Aish-warrior” Wow! A brave name!
She *faints*

You know who the brave warrior is, obviously, Yours Truly! Like the Moov ad of ‘Ah se Aha thak’, anyone around uses a word that starts with ‘Ah and ends with Aha’ will get my due response and acknowledgement cos I’m a girl who has no name!

At the end of the day , when I return home and start my music player, ‘Un perai sonnalae ull naaku thithikudhe’ sings by hammering the final nail to the coffin. Venam Venam! Valikidhu! Azhudhuruven!

Desi me: If they have so much of a trouble pronouncing my name, what will happen if Thillu Mullu movie’s ‘Aiyampettai Arivudainambi Kaliyaperumal Chandran’ or ‘Aiyampettai Arivudainambi Kaliyaperumal Indran’ shows up in Amreeeka? *Aiyaayooo to Aala vidungo* Amreeka Shock! Superstar rocks! ๐Ÿ˜›

So here is Aish Swaaha, Aish-Vaaya, Aish-warior, Aaah yeah, Aa…something something…yup signing off till my next post!

18 thoughts on “A girl has no name”

  1. Name select เฎชเฎฃเฏเฎฃ เฎŽเฎ™เฏเฎ•เฎณเฏเฎ•เฏเฎ•เฏเฎ•เฏ‡ เฎคเฎฒเฏˆ เฎšเฏเฎฑเฏเฎฑเฏเฎคเฏ..but someone they are calling by your name starting with Aish.. Good.. Enjoyed your writing…


  2. Oooooo….hahahaha..even I didn't expect that there would be sooooooooo many options for my name..๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜..sincerely enjoyed your post a loooooot and glad to see you replying every comment…keep gng!


  3. Going to amreeka and expecting your name will not create problem? Ha ha .. ๐Ÿ˜‚
    I liked “aish-warrior” much .. what an innovative name ๐Ÿ˜


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