Fighting Corona in the Drunken Monkey Style

Yes, after a lot of research and discussion with Mr.Bodhi Dharma, I have got you the proven technique that would work against COVID-19 or for that matter any form of novel virus. That would be revealed to you at the end of the post if you manage to get there. If you scroll down and directly read that then Bodhi Dharma Kanna kutthying and it will not work. So better read till the end.

Ellam bayamayam…
Hacchhhhh endral bayam, Lok-Lok endral bayam
Kerchief Bayam, Wipes Bayam, Shirt sleeve-um bayam
Flight bayam, Train bayam, Bus bayam, en nerungi okkarum shareauto kuda bayam,
Kootam bayam, Thanimai bayam
Lift bayam, Stairs bayam, Escalator oda handle naalum bayam
Office bayam Supermarket bayam Veedu Bayam
Veetil irundhal hand wash gaali aidumo bayam
Toilet Paper bayam, Hand Sanitizer bayam
TV bayam,News bayam enakku, Facebook bayam
Daily good morning varum WhatsApp kandalum Bayam
Corona irukkum Bar-kuda Bayam!

There is a race between virus and panic, right now the panic is spreading faster than COVID-19. The panic of not getting toilet paper is real!!! Even after applying Pythagoras theorem, Archimedes principle, Quantum theory, I still don’t know what is the connection between toilet paper and Corona but people are collecting toilet paper like it is some precious antique. There is a talk that people are travelling from state to state, country to country just in search of toilet paper, thereby increasing the spread. Initially, mister and IΒ  didn’t know we should start hoarding stuff. We were happily skipping our weekly grocery also when all of a sudden people in his office and mine started talking about toilet paper as the main topic. We still weren’t serious and went casually to an Indian store to buy groceries. We saw it right there! People were filling carts with 5 months of groceries ( 2-3 bags of rice, aata, all Dhals) I was stunned. Already that place is a cramped one, with so many people, chances were super high that if one had a virus, it would have affected almost the entire Indian community in that area. Anyway, Corona became Goddess Lakshmi for Patel Brothers Stores and they started selling from trucks directly. We pacified ourselves saying maybe it is just Indian stores and checked the US Store opposite our house. Toilet Papers were kept right next to the billing counter and were selling like hotcakes (Ya, I didn’t get a better comparison πŸ˜› ). We grabbed two small bags in the fear of being declared that we are Martians. Anyway, we have a mug and bucket at home 😈 Rather than Corona, people are going to die fighting for the last bundle of toilet paper.

The best adventure with this panic is the game called ‘Try not to cough in crowded train’. This is the toughest game I have ever played. Sneeze, Cough, Runny nose occur like Rajinikanth..Eppo varum Epdi varum nu theriyadhu, but it will definitely make an entrance at a wrong time. So when I’m conscious about not doing something 99.99% I will end up doing it. So I was in office and all of a sudden I sneezed twice and then started breathing with a runny nose. I got glares from 3 people and then had to rush to washroom to sneeze again. The train is even better. People look at anyone with mask or cough as a conspiracy to unleash CODVID-19 directly exported from Wuhan’s wet market right on them. I will sometimes try distracting my cough or sneeze by mind-singing Ballelakka Ballelakka Saelathukka Madhuraika Thirthanikkaaa …Why that song? Try singing that song fast, your sneeze or cough would get trapped and nose gets cleared when you finish the last line. You can thank me later.

This Novel Corona Virus aka COVID-19 is a virus superstar. It has made everyone talk about it and it only for the past 4 months. Media to maadi veeetu maami, everyone talks and breathe Corona news. Media has hopped on it and with increasing TRP, they are still singing COVID maharaj ki jai. But maadi veetu maamis and mamas are amazing. Not sure why weren’t they included in medical counsel. Confidently mama calls his son who is abroad and says, ‘Dei have garlic and hot lime water. No Corona can touch you.’ Of course no one can πŸ™„ The next best advice I got is drink hot water continuously, the virus goes down the throat and stomach acids would kill it.Whatte wow! And guess what, the brother-in-law in Wuhan who is a doctor has confirmed. Apparently whose brother-in-law? Adhu edhukku.. The best was there was an advertisement at some rural town in TN saying ‘Ingu Corona virus ku marundhu kudukka padum (You can get Medicine for Corona here). How simple is that! Idha theriyama people are still researching about a vaccine.

Since mister and I are now in inverse self-quarantine mode (the world has it, we don’t. So we are quarantining the world from us. Makes sense?) we are watching many movies religiously. I was reminded of the Irumal Thaatha from Ethir Neechal? Should we include him in the Corona Death count?Β 

Oh! I almost forgot. So here you go, this is the Drunken Monkey Style technique to Shoo Corona Virus- Ajaaak, Mojaaaak , Baaajaaak!

Ajaaaaaaaak- Wash your front palms and fingers
Mojaaaaaak- Wash your back palms and fingers
Baaaajaaaak- Wash your wrist

For 30 seconds- Ajak Mojak Bajak, Ajak Mojak Bajak

And don’t bother someone asks Bunty, un soap enna slow ah?Β 

Slow and steady wins the race. *India’s Corona Virus Audio plays and Fades as BGM*



14 thoughts on “Fighting Corona in the Drunken Monkey Style”

      1. So you both don’t talk at home because you guys are inverse self quarantined and comment here πŸ€”πŸ™„
        Btw Ais, this is the best of all so far. Enna timing and I loved every bit of it. Forced M&M to read it

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Patel Bhai becomes next Vijay Mallya or Nirav Modi. Black la semma business. 2$ things for 10$. Good that I don’t have Patel here.
    Ethir Neechal cough thatha thaaan first murder for Corona…..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aishu,
    Novel version of Corona, panics, pandemic, but the sad truth of crisis.

    Loved reading
    Ajaaak, Mojaaaak , Baaajaaak!

    Ajaaaaaaaak- Wash your front palms and fingers
    Mojaaaaaak- Wash your back palms and fingers
    Baaaajaaaak- Wash your wrist

    Good one. Keep entertaining with more of.


    Liked by 1 person

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