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Video Calling Atrocities

“Can you see now?”
“Nope!”
*adjusts something frantically*
“Ippo?”
“Yeah…Better!”
Theriyardhan…stay in the same spot and talk.

During my school days, we had to adjust the antennas and follow the same conversation as above for a channel to be seen clearly. Now the same happens with a video call. Talking in a video call for more than 10 minutes without any interruptions has the same probability as HSB increasing the tumbler size of their filter kaapi. Never! First 5 minutes of the call goes in echoes of hello, mike testing 123… Eventually, my mom finds the spot in the house (WiFi Vaasthu spot) that relays video and audio in sync. Pretty sure it is the same feel that Archimides had when he exclaimed Eureka! As an aadi thallubadi, from this spot I’ll be able to hear loud horns, vehicles, temple pooja even the dog barking 5 streets away.

So somehow when we settle and finish the waving, house tour and wifi Vasthu search it will be 10 minutes. That’s when I’ll actually start talking. After a minute when I ask a question to check whether they are listening, they’ll promptly keep the phone on ear… I’ll become the ENT specialist examining their inner canal…Yeah, it was supposed to be video call! Next 10 minutes would go in searching headphones. Ungla vechikittu oru kolai kuda panna mudiyadhu !

The best part is when there are new things bought and it has to be shown to me in the video call. My mom is the cameraperson and dad, the production boy who adjusts the product.. This is how the conversation goes:

Me: Therila…Konjam left
Mom moves the phone extreme right and says “left side move pannunga”
Me: Ippo right
Konjam left and apdiye up
illa romba right poitenga…apdiye uturn eduthu side la cut pannunga
Finally my mom: Hey loosu… stop giving instructions. We are showing properly only, you see properly! *end of convo*

Oh! Forgot to mention, below is the order of preference to my mom

->MAID
->Vegetable vendor
-> Milkman
->Paperboy
->Maid’s relatives
->Neighbours
-> Random person
-> Aishu’s call

Order of preference to my dad

-> News channels
-> Aishu’s call

So, I think you get the point. I will have to patiently wait until the interruptions are addressed.

I love calling during a family function as I get VIP treatment then… I’ll feel like Modiji returning from a foreign trip and waving to media. All I will hear is ‘Aishu line la irukka’. Everyone talks but no one listens . All I have to do is nod and wave 😀 The phone will pass around and all I have to do is keep waving…There are times when the phone has reached the next mandap and still people asked ‘Sowkiyama irukiya (hope you are doing fine) and kept passing on to some other onsite-person’s relatives who are also used to this passing the parcel.

The funny part of the video call is when the video is paused 😆 It will pause at the most hilarious expression. I have taken pics of my friends many a time like that so that it will come handy in future whenever needed…Muhahahah 👿

I’ve always noticed that people (including yours truly) don’t speak looking at the camera instead they see the portion where they are displayed. We are a group of narcissists, I say 😀 Video call become a mirror mirror on the wall that has to say who is the fairest of all. I’m sure network’s mind-voice will be ‘Adhu onnu dhan korachal’ given the uninterrupted network we have.

Alright! Gotto go. Time to make a video call. *Praying to the network bhagawan*

19 thoughts on “Video Calling Atrocities”

  1. Best of luck… Seems like you will be more active here… You know what’s real reason behind this connectivity problems… Indian wifi gods are in war with American wifi gods so good luck getting that audio video synced call once In a year
    😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rule 1 No video calls with you..
    Rule 2 Let’s meet soon
    But that’s the case with my parents in this you would need to add my dogs 🐕
    Keep going Aishu

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aishu, really I enjoyed the concept. You have to think of the persons at the other side also. For them also the same feelings will be there. I liked your narration very much. It is the fate that only during our Video chatting all the disturbance such as milkman, maid and other landline call etc. Your narration of the video chat at the function was excellent. I am not able control myself–fully laughing. Expecting more blogs

    N.Chandrika

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pudhu blog page,pudhu post,kalakrel Aishu 😛

    BTW by video call I remember that our conference video call is still pending.Only you can make even the normal conversations to a cute blog.Keep going re..

    Like

  5. Hilarious and very much relatable.. Aish let’s do a video call?🤣 can’t imagine what kind of blog post that would end as! Bingo.. loved every line of it .. 👍🏻

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha 😂 neengal thodurbu kollum vaadikaiyalar therchamayam veru video call-il ullar… Wonder why this is not in place yet for Whatsapp calls 🤔

      Like

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