After a month of talks about goals, freekicks, yellow cards, red cards… suddenly silence spreads like wild fire, sucking out the fifa air and leaving us with a vaccum of ‘what do I do now?’ Whenever the world needs me, I appear… Tadaa
Many who have stayed back till wee hours to catch up with the action are now finding it difficult to sleep early…errr… I mean at the normal time. So here lets ponder over the best alternatives that can fill the vaccum and get over the FIFA madness
Note: This post is not meant only for FIFA fans but also for the normal junta who has managed to stay aloof from the maddening atmosphere. You will know the reason at the end of this post
Yours Googly, Doodle
The FIFA fever creeps in early in the morning when we open Google and check ‘whats the doodle today?’ As soon as the Germans lifted the cup, The Doodle makers in Google have gone on a holiday. May be their daughters too would have written to Google about their dad over-working during FIFA and not getting home as he is busy preparing the next day doodle. You don’t know the Google-daughter story.. check here
. May be ask your daughter to tear a page from her class note and scribble saying ‘My dad is feeling low without your FIFA doodle series ‘(or you can do it by scribbling with your left hand). If you manage to get it to Google and are lucky enough to get a reply, you become a hero in social networking site! This is called #OvernightlaObamatechnique. If you are a person maintaining low profile and don’t want publicity (like me
) then best option, choose an alternative search engine like Bing as home page for few days till you get ready to see a plain Google.
Sony 6…5..4..3..2..1 *fades away*
Are you the one who forgot there are 999 other channels in the world for 1 month? Are you the one who switched on the TV with Sony Six and switched off with Sony Six? Then this is for you. Task 1: First find out where you left your TV remote last. Since it was hardly needed for the past month, there are possibilities that it is lying somewhere amidst your old cardboard boxes pile. When you search for this, you will unearth many other lost treasures and either end up focussing on those or end up counting your sneezes… Either way its a passtime
Task 2: Once you find your remote, change the channels. Whoa! Your eyes will welcome this change as it is now used to seeing only a big green round space with objects running here and there
You get a whole lot of options ranging from serials that are still at the same place since you last saw to Arnab shouting at the peek of his voice. Take your time to choose your favourite substitutes!
From Extra Time to Strategic time out!
We are a cricketing nation and cricket won’t let you down. We have matches all through the year. Change your focus from Julio Caesar to Ishant Sharma. They are badly in need of your attention! If rumours are to be believed, our cricketers themselves have started ignoring the England series and started watching FIFA. Players are found cajoling Dhoni to not pick him in the team as they can watch FIFA. TV ad incomes have also hit an all time low complains a star player(#source-secret agent at the dressing room
). So lets help our Dhoni and get them into spotlight again.
Make Hay while the Sun shines
You will have to wait for 4 years to get this chance again… So say ‘Treeeeeeeeeeeeat’ and take your friend and a get a free lunch as Germans have won. One friend per day. Start with friends who supported Germany (Am sure many supported Germans
) and once you have exhausted the options, move on to other nations and finally even the non-FIFA fans. Talk them out so that they can’t deny (Tips and secrets will be shared only if I get a treat
Now you are used to talking to your friend non-stop reviewing the previous night match. Now that FIFA is over, you can’t end up just starring at each other for hours (Errrr… its so filmy
). Start with random topics ‘Did you watch EK Villain or Humshakal?’
‘Have you stood upside down for 1 hr?’ ‘Did you know when you sneeze ur heart skips a beat’ Get a milo fact book (I got it free with Milo) and conversations will prolong till the other person faints and falls down
And finally for the sleepless nights, drink warm milk , count from 100 backwards, count the sheep… There are N number of sleep Apps available in Google play. Make use of the technology. If it works rate with 5 stars, if not give 1 star and write a long post about how much of mental trauma you underwent cos you installed that app
It might ease you off and you will fall asleep.
Please try the above at your own risk as these stunts are performed only by professionals who are ready to face any consequences
If you are one of them please try and let me know if and only if the outcome is positive … else here is the disclaimer: In case of unexpected negative consequences of rotten eggs, tomatoes or bad words, the owner of the post should never be contacted as it was done at your own risk 😛
Note: Non-FIFA fans… Beware! Your friend might try these on you to get over the FIFA hangover…After all a friend in need is a friend indeed