facebook, india, popular, style

If ‘Facebook’ was born in India…

I am no Mark Zuckerburg, but yeah… suddenly got this idea last night while browsing in FB… Had Facebook been born in India how will it be 😉 So it triggered n number of imaginations and I decided to blog my thoughts about Facebook in Desi Sshtyle. So here we go…
First of all “Wall” concept is very foreign… We, Indians don’t have the habbit of writing anything on the wall ..We just stick posters on the wall you see 😉 So we’ll change “wall” into “blackboard”… As we are grown up watching teachers writing on blackboard and of-course class-representatives writing talkative names…We have always loved the chance and power to write on it and would have grabbed colourful chalk-pieces to do the same 😉 So here we go… Each will be provided with a virtual blackboard where people can chalk their thoughts 😉
Next, the button ‘like’ needs modification…The word ‘like’ never represents our feeling exactly! When our friend makes us listen to a new track by A.R. Rahman, we listen and never say like…. We use either superlative degree or a comparative degree… Comparative degree is often used! We say its good but don’t you think Illayaraja was better 😉 When it comes to sports or movies, when we like a hero or a sportstar, we make them a demiGod or build a temple or atleast put a cutout or banner and do a milk abhishekam for him. So just “like” is never sufficient for us! We need so many such options (super with a 3 symbol in fingers icon/compared to ‘____’ its better/demiGod/milk abhishekam) to bring out our real feel 😉 😆
“Share” we never easily do that.When there is a message that is meant to be told to all, we’ll forget for sure and will never share… But if its a secret, we’ll atleast tell it to 1 person instructing that person not to tell anybody 😉 The chain continues, if we don’t tell anybody our head will burst 😉 so the ‘share’ button should be “shhh…secret” and on clicking on that it should get posted .. oops 😳 I mean chalked on the respective person’s blackboard 😉
In India, we are taught not to pass “comments” at anybody right from childhood… So passing comments is considered bad in India! 😉 So we’ll have to remove the option of comments and include “open to suggestions”.. But we only accept selective suggestions and not all… Actually we don’t accept any suggestions 😉 never mind…we’ll put up  this option and disable it later when they suggest 👿 😉
We’ll add a  new button called “Dub in native language” (with a list of languages in India)… We are fond of watching anything and everything in native language… This will be very useful for our directors and actors during remakes 😉
The word “status” will lead to a lot of controversies… As we believe “all are equal” and shouldn’t discriminate any section… So, we’ll have to think of a suitable replacement for “status message”… In order to qualify as a perfect desi style social network… it has to definitely have an element called Rajini in it for sure 😉  so we’ll replace “status message” with “punch dialogue”and a Rajini icon by its side… 😉 Ahaan now its 99% desi-fied 😆
We never “poke” anybody to get attention…In our desi-ssshtyle we’ll “smile”…India is known for its variety of smiles as Madhuri Dixit says in an ad… So “smile” will be the best replacement for us 🙂 (We also use a lot of smilies you see 😉 )
A button called “Treat?” is a must… We ask treat for every reason that could be found…Even if a friend falls down, we’ll ask treat 😉  By clicking this button, you’ll send a request to your friend…If he/she accepts he’ll be redirected to an e-order page of a restaurant and will be allowed to fix a budget and can pay online…Your friend can order within the budget and finish off his treat without moving out anywhere 😉
A column for “news and politics” can attract all the Indian men and column for “homemade beauty tips”, “recipes” , “leading saas-bahu serial’s stories” can attract the female crowd… So now this social network is customized for all age-groups!
Finally, the big thing, a suitable name…”Facebook”…Already kids have many books to study in India… Why should we scare them more? lets remove “book” from it..Only “face” remains..It sounds like a scolding! If somebody asks you “what are you browsing?”..when you reply “face” it will definitely sound rude 😦 So… lets think…. think…think… What are we very much interested about? “Cricket”,…”Movies”…Hmmmm… Yes 😀 Got the answer… We are very curious to know about what’s happening at our neighbour’s place … Even when there is a power-cut we’ll look at our neighbour’s house…If no power there, we’ll have a 1000 watt smile else it will be disappointment to the power n 😉 So the best name for this site is “Your Neighbour” … So that we’ll always be interested to know whats happening there ! 😉 😆
“Your Neighbour” will be launched soon… Ideas are welcome before it is launched 🙂 Best ideas will get 50%* off at your nearby tea-stall 😉 😆
*Offer valid only till stocks last 😉

2 thoughts on “If ‘Facebook’ was born in India…”

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